Funeral Etiquette

A friend's father passed away recently, and on the day of the funeral, it suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea about funeral protocol. I'd attended two, maybe three funerals before my friend's dad's, and always with my parents. So I found myself wondering, Is it appropriate to bring something, and if so, what? Fortunately, my friend had included instructions on how to dress, so I was clear on that.

But it got me thinking that this is part of growing up - getting to the age where you start attending funerals, much the way there was an age where you attended a lot of weddings. I'm probably not the only one doing this kind of growing up, so I wanted to share what I've learned:

Funeral etiquette depends on the type of service - This may be stating the obvious, but a lot of what's appropriate for a funeral is dependent on the type of service, such as Catholic, Jewish or Buddhist. If you're not familiar with the type of service, a quick internet search can give you the basic information you need. It can also be helpful to find out where the service is being held, such as graveside or in a church or temple, as the location might affect your choice of attire or shoes.

Dress respectfully - Black and gray are generally the most appropriate colors for funerals, but some families ask attendees to dress more colorfully. Whatever you're wearing, make sure your clothes are clean and neat.

You don't need to bring anything - Unless you've been informed that it's appropriate, you don't have to bring flowers or anything else to the service. (In some cases, flowers are actually not appropriate.) Do be sure to sign the guest book, if there is one. If you've been invited to a post-service reception, you can bring a dish to be served but you are not obligated to do so.

Participate in the service when appropriate - If you are able to do so, fully participate in the service by standing, kneeling, singing, reciting verses, or responding as requested. Words to songs and responsive phrases are usually included in the funeral service program.

Share a warm memory of the deceased - In my case, I had never met my friend's father and went just to show my support. But if you have any fond memories of the deceased, share them when you express your condolences.

Call the location - If you're still wondering about what's appropriate, call the location where the service is being held. The staff there should be happy to help you.

Image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net by khunaspix.

It's Time: Get Ready for the Holidays

November starts the day after tomorrow, and that means holiday season is right around the corner. That makes now a great time to start planning ahead for a stress-free - or at least, less-stressed - holiday season.

Starting on Monday, I'll be posting things you can do now to give yourself a relaxing holiday season that's enriching and joyous. I'll be doing these things right along with you, since I'm hoping for a low-stress holiday season too!

And if you have any tips to share, be sure to let us know! You can leave a comment on this post or on the CFO Facebook page.

Original image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Stuart Miles.

Reflections on The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The real magic of tidying

I've been reading the best-seller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and implementing the "KonMari Method" described. It's so fascinating that I'm turning my thoughts about it into a series of posts. Note: This post contains affiliate links that help support this site at no additional cost to you. Thank you for clicking through them! You can read CFO's full disclosure here.


Throughout the book, the author often mentions that once her clients have implemented the KonMari method, they go on to improve their lives in other ways. In particular, she mentions clients who lost weight and clients who started pursuing their dream jobs.

As I read these anecdotes, they had the ring of truth, but it wasn't until after I was really in the throes of the KonMari method myself that I realized why:

The process of asking yourself "Does this spark joy?" is also a way of saying to yourself, I care about what brings me joy, what makes me happy matters, and *I* matter.

Once you place value on what you care about, you'll naturally want to take care of yourself.

And that truly is life-changing.

Reflections on The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: Stockpiling

I've been reading the best-seller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and implementing the "KonMari Method" described. It's so fascinating that I'm turning my thoughts about it into a series of posts. Note: This post contains affiliate links that help support this site at no additional cost to you. Thank you for clicking through them! You can read CFO's full disclosure here.


The KonMari method discourages stockpiling, but I can't resist a hot deal on something I know I'm going to need down the line. It's depressing and almost physically painful to imagine regularly paying full price for something because I didn't stock up when I could have and consequently have run out of it.

I do think that it's harder to have the kind of stockpile I'm thinking of in Japan. Houses and apartments there are tiny. We live in a townhouse that's not particularly big, but you could fit three Japanese bedrooms in our master bedroom!

Where I think I've gone wrong in the past when it comes to stockpiling and tidying is not storing like items together. I've had cleaning items scattered throughout the bathrooms, the kitchen, and the cabinet under the wet bar, paper goods in various cabinets, etc. In doing so, I haven't been able to keep track of how much of something I have on hand already.

So now I'm following the KonMari method of keeping my stockpile in one place. All of my cleaning supplies are now in the cabinets under the wet bar. I've rearranged the personal care supplies to keep the shampoo bottles together, the lotions together, etc. I'm working on rearranging my paper goods stockpile - as I declutter and create space, I will have a large enough space in a closet to store all of our paper towels together. (Bulky items like that have been spread throughout the house precisely because they're bulky.)

Being able to see everything of one category that we already have helps me to see whether or not I should stock up when a sale comes along. For example, I now know that we are running low on body wash, but have plenty of shampoo.

How do you manage your stockpile?

Reflections on The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: Don't tidy for others

I've been reading the best-seller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and implementing the "KonMari Method" described. It's so fascinating that I'm turning my thoughts about it into a series of posts. Note: This post contains affiliate links that help support this site at no additional cost to you. Thank you for clicking through them! You can read CFO's full disclosure here.


When I first started reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and got to the part about sorting and keeping only those items that spark joy, I wondered if the author was going to give advice on how to get other family members on board with the program. So I was surprised and relieved when I read that I should just tidy my own possessions and not worry about everyone else's.

I started with my obvious possessions - my own clothes, my jewelry, files, books, etc. And as the primary housekeeper, I have free reign to tidy and organize most of the house. So next I tackled the common areas, such as the utensils, pots and containers in the kitchen, the extra dental and other personal care supplies, and so on.

I don't plan on tidying my husband's possessions - that's totally up to him.

But the kids ... well, I'm going to teach them about tidying according to the KonMari method. They have tons of books and toys and baseball cards, as well as clothes and more. Not to mention super busy schedules. So the trick is finding time to tidy with them, and unfortunately that's likely not going to be until Thanksgiving week, when they have the whole week off from school. Until then, our afternoons and evenings will be filled with homework and projects and sports and social obligations. But I'm going to start strategizing now about the different categories we can tidy that week (and if the opportunity presents itself, I may get a head start with at least one of the kids!).

Have you tried the KonMari method with your kids?

Reflections on The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: Storage

I've been reading the best-seller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and implementing the "KonMari Method" described. It's so fascinating that I'm turning my thoughts about it into a series of posts. Note: This post contains affiliate links that help support this site at no additional cost to you. Thank you for clicking through them! You can read CFO's full disclosure here.



There are a couple of things about the KonMari method of storage that I'm finding work incredibly well - so well that I can't understand why I never thought of doing them before.

One is store things vertically so you can see everything. For example, I had a banker's box in which I kept our extra oral care supplies - toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, etc. Everything just got tossed into the box, and it worked okay, in that we always knew where to find a new toothbrush or tube of toothpaste, and I always knew where to put new items when I brought them home from the store. But in tidying the box, I found myself discarding lots of samples and old kids' toothbrushes that are too small for the kids now. And I wanted to be able to really see what's in there at a glance. I hit upon the idea of storing everything standing up in zip-top plastic bags, like so:


We had a similar arrangement with razors and Q-tips, which I kept in a different banker's box. Everything was a jumble, but I was able to use more zip-top bags to group the men's razors, the disposable razors, and the women's razors together:


Which brings me to another wonderful aspect of the KonMari method of storage: keep like things together. For example, I had jewelry in two different locations. I tended to only look in one location, so when I sorted through my jewelry, I realized I had many pieces I hadn't worn in a long time simply because I'd forgotten all about them. I kept only those pieces that sparked joy, and then rearranged my storage so that everything is in one spot, and easy to see from above. And now every time I go to get my wedding ring, I put on another piece of jewelry (or two or more) that make me happy.

Menu Plan Monday: Week of Oct 5, 2015

I can't believe it's October, but the cooler weather we're finally having does indicate fall is approaching (not to mention all of the winter squash at the markets!). This is always my favorite time of year, with the delicious anticipation of the holidays, and of course, all of the yummy food that comes with them!

Here's my plan for this week:

Monday:
Breakfast - Toast or Cereal
Dinner - Pizza Rev (I've got a craving, and they have a fantastic Monday Meal Deal)

Tuesday:
Breakfast - Pumpkin Muffins
Dinner - Cheesy Butternut Squash Pasta

Wednesday:
Breakfast - Coffee Cake
Dinner - Beef & Cheddar Hand Pies

Thursday:
Breakfast - Toast or Cereal
Dinner - Chili, cornbread

Friday:
Breakfast - Rice Cooker Oatmeal
Dinner - Miso Ramen

Saturday Dinner: Dinner out

Sunday Dinner: Dinner out

See more weekly menus at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

LAUSD Magnet Schools: What to expect after submitting your Choices application

Once you've submitted your Choices application, you might be wondering what happens next.

In December, the Student Integration Services office (which administers the Choices programs) will send out a Confirmation/Correction letter. If things stay the same as in years past, online applicants will receive an email stating that the you can view the letter online. If you submitted a paper application, SIS will likely send your letter via snail mail.

The Confirmation/Correction letter states that your application has been received, indicates which school you applied to, and any priority points your child may have. It also states whether any corrections are required.

If you applied to a Gifted/High Ability or Highly Gifted magnet program, you will receive a separate notification in January regarding your child's eligibility or ineligibilityfor the program. You can learn more about gifted magnet programs here.

Notification letters will be sent out in March. If things stay the same as in the past, all letters will be sent via snail mail, regardless of how your applied. However, online applicants may be able to view their letters online even before receiving their snail mail letter. If your child is accepted to a school you'd like him or her to attend, be sure to follow the instructions in the letter to claim your spot. And congratulations!

Original image via FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Grant Cochrane.