From: Steven's Dad
I have the feeling I might appreciate this even more if I actually knew Steven's dad, but Steven is in the older preschool class and I only have a vague idea of which boy he is. And I haven't the faintest clue who his dad is.
But I can certainly relate to him! All of the kids in Alex's class call me "Alex's mommy" - as in, "Alex's mommy, look, I have a Cars shirt on today." And whenever I send out an email to the other parents, I always put "Alex's mom" underneath my name - otherwise, how will the parents know who I am?
It's a weird feeling to be known only for being a mom, at least in some circles. And I'm sure that's never going to change. I'll always be "Alex and Tyler's mommy" to some people.
The big question is: as the years go by, will I think of myself as "mommy" rather than Cathy? I don't think so. But I've been known to be wrong.
What have your experiences been?
7 comments:
First of all, kudos on your efforts! I know the teacher will appreciate your work for a special gift.
It's funny, I worry about not being mommy enough when my son calls for me saying "Aaaaadrienne."
My current response is "That's mommy to you, mister!"
Wow and double Wow. I've had a bad week this week learning that I have been a bit unbalanced in the categories of work and parenting lately. It's really been reflected as I've brought the kids back and forth to daycare. I received lots of goodies for Mother's Day from our provider and COMPLETELY forgot to give her a thing until she handed me my goodies. Thursday she had to pull out a log and inform me that my little guy had been sick off and on since early May. I had been too lost in work lately to notice. :( Sigh. I totally didn't even think about her at teacher appreciation week and I've never thought to call myself Cat & Max's mom. I just use my first and last name when addressing other parents. I too have had my littlest one who is 2 call me Jennifer and I wonder where it comes from and HOW he knew that????????
I just want to declare a do-over. I feel I've totally been behind the 8-ball lately and not been paying attention at all! I'm glad though that it doesn't seem to be contagious ;) Good for you for taking on the endeavor of organizing events for your son's class.
Jen
http://furoreandfrenzy.com
http://parents2parents.org
@Adrienne - Eh, we go through that too. I don't think it has anything to do with being "mommy enough"!
@Jennifer - Don't be too hard on yourself! We all go through periods where one part of our life is more dominant than another. As for being identifying myself as Alex's mom, I do it more for context for the other parents. I do it when I meet a new parent for the first time in person too. I started b/c I need that context myself - I know the kids in the boys' classes, but not the parents. I'm sure the other parents (and kids) still think of you as "Cat and Max's mommy." :)
I find that I get address as "my son's mom" when I have not introduced myself properly. To the other parents in my sosn't music or swimming class or even the Y babysittind, if they don't know my name of course I am "X's mommy." That's why I try to tell my people my name first and then my sosn's name. But sadly enough when other people tell me their name I remember them as "x's mommy" as well. I bet they are doing the same thing with my name, forgetting it. sigh!
I get called Abby's Mommy a lot between school and the sitters. In fact her friend's little sister calls me that exclusively. I don't mind in the least. Just like I mind being Maya's Mom or Mike's wife or Diane's daughter or Dave's sister and so on. Just means I "belong" to a lot of people. And to me, that's a good thing. Most often I get referred to by those titles when I am in their realm. Nobody is calling me Abby's Mom at work, but when I'm dealing with parents at school, that's Abby world. It all balances out in the end.
I can't imagine there will be a time when I don't think of myself as Mommy. I mean, I haven't stopped needing my Mom yet. But I have been known to be wrong too. Time will tell.
@Mercedes - You're exactly right, I often remember parents as "So-and-so's mom" even if I've been told their names! I certainly love being "Alex's mommy" but I thought it was really funny of Steven's dad to actually write "Steven's Dad" instead of "The M. family" or even just "Steven M." A lot of the parents wrote their own name and then their kid's name after that!
@Shan - Of course you're right, it definitely is all about what universe you're in. I just think it's funny for the only identity in the "child's school world" to be mommy or daddy, even amongst the other parents!
I liked this post a lot. I am known as "the twins' mom" among many people, and it's jarring! I linked to your post here:
http://svmomblog.typepad.com/dc_metro_moms/2008/05/last-thursday-i.html
Thanks!
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