tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post4960784682491374847..comments2023-12-14T07:05:21.979-08:00Comments on Chief Family Officer: Should you buy a house together before you get married?Chief Family Officerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02320154821990804327noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-75756291218240259382009-01-21T20:53:00.000-08:002009-01-21T20:53:00.000-08:00Interesting perspectives here - I hadn't thought a...Interesting perspectives here - I hadn't thought about the "afford it on either salary" condition, but it makes sense. (Albeit rather unrealistic in Southern California, even with the tanking real estate market.)<BR/><BR/>@Anon - I'm sorry about your expensive and painful lesson. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.Chief Family Officerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02320154821990804327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-86440366618057696462009-01-19T16:58:00.000-08:002009-01-19T16:58:00.000-08:00Buying a house is a major commitement. I just wond...Buying a house is a major commitement. I just wonder that if the couple are not ready to make a marriage commitment, would they be ready to make this purchasing commitment?<BR/><BR/>RegardsFather Sezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06123124877638945944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-40237714800992542012009-01-19T05:41:00.000-08:002009-01-19T05:41:00.000-08:00I bought a house with a BF about 3 years ago...I w...I bought a house with a BF about 3 years ago...I was 37 at the time and he was 45...it was a big mistake. When I caught him being unfaithful and kicked him out, I had no rights. In Texas, I could have tried to sue him for divorce by claiming "common law". It was a very expensive mess because I had to buy him out and the mortgage was not considered a re-fi as it would have been if we were married so the closing costs were ridiculous....if I had it to do over, I would have insisted that we be married. It is financial protection in case things don't go as planned, and also, in most states, if something happens to one spouse, the house automatically goes to the surviving spouse--this is not the case if you are just living together. I learned my lesson the very hard way (cost me about 20k!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-23307345159878018422009-01-18T08:21:00.000-08:002009-01-18T08:21:00.000-08:00My husband and I were together for "only" a year b...My husband and I were together for "only" a year before we got married and engaged for "only" six months before we bought a house together. We did not see the point of throwing away money as renters when we both were making good salaries and could easily afford purchasing a home at the time. This was 10 years ago, and I'm so glad we did it. We purchased the home right before real estate prices skyrocketed. (At the time we were living in the Metro NY area) If we had waited until we were married (our engagement was 2 years), there's no way we could have afforded something as nice. Because we bought the house when we did and values went way up, we were able to significantly upgrade five years ago. Sure it was a bit of a risk, but it was a great investment at the time.<BR/><BR/>I can see where it's not for everyone, but it is an issue of trust, IMO. If you don't feel confident enough in your fiance/fiancee to commit to purchasing a home together, do you trust them enough to commit your entire life to them? But that's just me. I certainly understand other people's points of view.<BR/><BR/>We'll be celebrating our eighth anniversary in June and we are expecting our third child in June, so clearly buying a house together before you are married is not necessarily a death sentence ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-87378757193224814802009-01-17T23:36:00.000-08:002009-01-17T23:36:00.000-08:00My response to this is the same as yours, CFO. It ...My response to this is the same as yours, CFO. It really depends on the couple. My best friend and her fiance have been together 5 years and they bought a house two years ago. They're getting married in March.<BR/><BR/>To be honest, getting a house together has its risks either way. Even if you're married, divorce still happens and the legal battles that can ensue from a divorce can be just as messy, time-consuming, and damaging to credit reports as simply breaking up before a marriage.<BR/><BR/>The other point to consider is that if the couple live in a community property state, it doesn't really matter anyway - particularly if they are common law married, like my friends. <BR/><BR/>I also agree with Dedicated on this one, with one caveat. If a couple are going to purchase a house, I think it needs to be one that either could afford without the financial help of the other - whether they're married or not.<BR/><BR/>Great question!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-27077629872082944482009-01-17T20:09:00.000-08:002009-01-17T20:09:00.000-08:00I wouldn't. Someone close to me broke off an engag...I wouldn't. Someone close to me broke off an engagement after 7 months. She had bought a car for him. He had keys. It was an absolute mess getting it back. If it had been a house, and he refused to leave, she'd have to go through the eviction process. Dividing assets in a divorce is messy, but at least it is streamlined and everyone knows what is coming. Dividing assets in a break up -- that's just a nightmare!Camillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665568491378947842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-30882506365911166112009-01-17T05:36:00.000-08:002009-01-17T05:36:00.000-08:00I think it is a mistake to buy a house TOGETHER be...I think it is a mistake to buy a house TOGETHER before you are married. A lot can go wrong. It is smarter to have the house in one person's name if you are not married.<BR/><BR/>My husband and I lived together for a year before we got married. During that time I bought our house... knowing that the house was in my name and that I could afford it on my income alone should things not work out. (Of course, I was pretty sure it would work out! :-))<BR/><BR/>I have known folks who have done it and been very happy. In those cases, I think the important thing is that you are buying a home you can afford on one of your incomes, and to be sure you have a will in place to cover your bases should anything catastrophic happen.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01285710592244185817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-8635662733439339552009-01-16T14:18:00.000-08:002009-01-16T14:18:00.000-08:00I think Dedicated has a point... unless you can af...I think Dedicated has a point... unless you can afford the place on your own, you are at a risk if the relationship doesn't lead in the direction you intended. And let's be honest, there is no insurance for interpersonal relations. I had a friend who bought a beautiful loft in Boston with her long-time boyfriend, and when they broke up it was a huge mess.<BR/>Jerry<BR/>www.leads4insurance.comJerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02297947643006068426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-22168821595761770682009-01-16T14:06:00.000-08:002009-01-16T14:06:00.000-08:00Only if both people can afford the house alone. T...Only if both people can afford the house alone. This way a house isn't the reason to stay, but the heart is. Plus, they would both have the ability to keep their credit in good standing, in the event of the worst. <BR/><BR/>I guess, live within your means and have it in writing a clear cut contract.Denise Mallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13253101883627114010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13259011.post-9579289248181766842009-01-16T12:47:00.000-08:002009-01-16T12:47:00.000-08:00I just found your blog on BlogHer - I like it!I gu...I just found your blog on BlogHer - I like it!<BR/><BR/>I guess my answer has stayed the same. No. <BR/><BR/>Boy, if something went terribly wrong, the legal problems (not to mention financial consequences). <BR/><BR/>If there is a need to buy the house before a wedding date for some reason, maybe one person could go ahead and buy it. You can always add the person to the house papers later.<BR/><BR/>Great question for discussion!Debrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17475568140370309294noreply@blogger.com