My husband and I own a townhouse that’s over 30 years old, and we’ve lived here for about 10 years. Very little work had been done on the place when we moved in. We’ve made some changes, as it’s impossible to live in a place this old for this long without having to make repairs – and if you’re repairing, you might as well improve too. Our bathroom remodel is a good example.

But there are improvements I dream of – a remodeled kitchen and new flooring top my list. We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars worth of changes.

So … these improvements will just have to wait. It helps to have clear priorities, and to accept that I can’t have everything I want all at once. More specifically, we can’t save money and spend it on the house at the same time. And saving money is our priority right now, so that we can pay off the mortgage and/or pay for private school in a few years.

Focusing on priorities helps. And so does perspective – I do expect that eventually, I will have a kitchen I absolutely love. What also helps is avoiding HGTV and home improvement shows, which tend to make me focus on what I could have and consequently make me dissatisfied with what I do have.

And honestly, what I have is plenty: a solid, reliable home, with a serviceable kitchen, carpet that the kids can spill on without upsetting me (too much), air conditioning (and boy, have we needed it these last few weeks!), and of course, my wonderful family.

We continue to save, and we’ll spend that money on repairing and improving the house if the need arises. But for now, the priority is simply on saving.

I’m on my way home today (yay!), and looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, and hugging my husband and children. But I enjoyed my time in Japan, and on a personal finance front, I couldn’t help thinking about the cash society that Japan still is (my last trip here was nearly 10 years ago). At a time when I rarely use any cash and completely failed at an all-cash experiment a few years ago, I was fascinated that cash is still the most common method of payment.

Japan is known for having one of the highest personal savings rates, and given the prominence of the use of cash, I can’t help but think that the two go hand in hand. After all, personal finance bloggers and experts emphasize how using switching to cash from credit cards decreases spending by forcing you to be aware of exactly how much you’re spending. Money Saving Mom is my favorite example, since she is not only a shining example of cash-only success, but also regularly publishes success stories from others.

However, I also can’t help noticing that personal safety is still less of an issue in Japan than it is in the U.S. Many women carry bags without zippers, because they don’t have to worry about someone reaching in to take the contents. I’d guess that most people carry a fair amount of cash with them, without worrying about being mugged. (Although, I have noticed that some areas are a bit more sketchy than they used to be – maybe a side effect of the recession?)

Paying with cash in Japan has brought back reminders of what I dislike about using cash – the accumulation of loose change, how much longer it takes to pay because you’re hunting for bills and the correct change, and the time it takes to put away any change while the store clerk politely holds the bag out. (And that’s one thing that hasn’t changed since the last time I was here – the unfailing politeness of store clerks especially always stands out to me as there’s such an extreme contrast to the U.S.)

All in all, I will be very happy to be home and to go back to using my credit card to pay for purchases. However, I’ll continue to try to be as aware of my spending as I would be if I were paying with cash.

Where do you stand on the all-cash system of personal spending?

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It’s been a time of big expenses for us, as we’ve paid for our property taxes, income taxes (we owed some this year), plane tickets and more. That means we’ll spend a couple of months “in the red” – that is, spending more than we’re bringing in. And even though we have the money in savings (and some of the expenses were actually budgeted for), spending more than we make causes me great discomfort and even a little anxiety.

A big part of that is my personal lack of income – as a blogger, I don’t make anything close to what I used to make as a lawyer. But there’s not a whole lot I can do about that now. So . . . here are some tips for coping psychologically when your expenses suddenly outweigh your income:

Stem the tide – Spending can be like a break in the dam. First there’s a slow trickle, but the pressure builds up and boom! – there’s a big hole in the wall. The trick is to patch the dam before the hole gets too big. You can do that by questioning every expense, and asking yourself if it needs to be made right away, or if it can wait for a while.

Cut back where you can – Things like eating out, gourmet groceries, a night out at the movies, and so on can almost always be put on hold while you get your finances back on track. For me personally, this often means limiting shopping solely to the grocery store for perishables only, and not stocking up on something I don’t need immediately, even if it’s a good price.

Bring in some extra income – This is one of those times when doing little things to bring in extra income can have a bigger impact on your mental state than your actual bottom line. You can sell some stuff on Amazon, eBay or Craigslist, have a yard sale, or take surveys (I like Pinecone Research best). And that’s just a few ideas – there are many other ways to bring in a little money.

Declutter – It never ceases to amaze me how much better I feel about everything by decluttering a room, closet or other area. In this particular situation, it’s a good reminder of how much I have, how little I need, and that everything is going to work out just fine.

Maintain perspective – Sometimes spending money makes sense, whether it’s paying the taxes to avoid paying even more in the form of a penalty, or going on a rare trip to see family. The purpose of saving money is precisely so that it’s there when you need it – at times like this. Keeping that in mind helps to relieve the anxiety of seeing the balance in your bank account go down!

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