Yesterday, Free Money Finance asked readers to help another reader on the issue of how to buy a house together before getting married. But – since there were a lot of responses along the lines of “don’t do it” – I couldn’t help thinking about the should question, as in, Should this couple buy a house together before they were married?
And I realized that my answer has changed over the years. Five to ten years ago, I would have said no way. I would have said that buying a house together before marriage was too risky – that even if the couple seemed totally committed, the fallout of an unconsummated engagement would just be too huge.
But now my answer is, it depends. I have friends who bought a house together during their engagements and have been happily married for years now. I actually don’t have any friends who broke up while they were engaged. If the couple in question have been together for a few years, and in particular, have lived together for a while, then it probably doesn’t matter whether they buy their house before or after their marriage.
I wouldn’t have done it myself, but I knew Marc for “only” 18 months before we got engaged, and we were engaged for “only” a year. And we were both in our twenties at the time. I look at some of my unmarried friends who are in their thirties and have been living together for several years and just don’t see that it matters whether they buy a house before or after they’re married.
What do you think?